The bad kind is more terrifying. A man will have a particular girl in mind and with the help of his family or friends, he will kidnap the girl (16-18 years old usually). He will take her back to his home and the entire family will pressure her to stay and be his wife. Theoretically she has the power to say no and return to her family, but there are many societal pressures to consent. It may sound odd, but the parents of the boy will often call the parents of the girl and inform them that the bridenapping has occurred. The girls parents often agree to support the marriage, often due to societal pressure as well (especially if it was a physical relationship, consensual or not). In the Kazakh Muslim culture, a girl who has had a physical relationship and is not married is considered tainted goods and won’t be wanted by anyone else. You can see how men would and do abuse this and do bad things to insure a girl stays.
We watched a moving video on this a week or so ago and there have been two bridenappings in a town outside Esik while we were here. To be honest, we all knew it went on and that we would hear about it through out service, but didn’t expect to encounter it face to face. I did yesterday.
4 men came into the school where we study and dragged a girl, by her feet, out of her classroom. The ran down the hallway with her. Teachers and students screamed and ran after then, trying to prevent this. The principle of the school caught them at the door. There was a scuffle, where one of the bridenappers pulled a knife and cut the principle in the arm, then barred the door shut, while the other three men picked up the girl and ran away. Eventually the 4th man let go of the door and fled. By the time everyone got outside she was gone.
I was in the bathroom right down the hall when this happened. I heard all the screaming and running. By the time I got to the door, the 4th man had just barred the door with his shoulder. Everyone was screaming and crying. Then he let go and left. I funneled outside with everyone else; saw the director holding his arm and everyone looking stunned. There were two other volunteer friends outside who saw it all from the outside.
One of our language teachers walked by and we told her. She was shocked and suspected that it was ransom related, as the use of a knife in a bridenapping is very unusual. But eventually it was determined that it was in fact a bridenapping. The police were called. The school knew who the men were and where they lived. Even though it is traumatic for those involved, and the friends of the girl, the 3 men who did the bridenapping were determined to have done nothing wrong, as it is part of Kazakh culture. The man who pulled the knife though will be punished by the law. By lunch time we heard that the families were in negotiations about the marriage. I never heard if she married the man or not.
I told my host mom of this last night and she acted like it was no big deal. I told her I knew that it happened, but was shocked that they would go into the school and do it. She said it was common and it was one of the few times when girls are away from their parents and homes. She said it still happens a lot, but not as much as it used to.
No need to be worried about my safety. I’m not a Kazakh girl. I just saw this as a teachable moment on bridenapping. It was pretty intense and the 3 of us who saw it were a little shook up for a few minutes. But by the afternoon the students and teachers were back to normal- classes resumed as scheduled and everyone was upbeat and happy in the schoolyard. It sounds weird to say this thing is normal, but it has happened at least 3 times since I’ve been here (and probably many more), and outside of friends of the girl, everyone acted as if it were just another day.
I don’t know if you can find it online, but the video I saw was on bridenapping in
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So, on the brighter side of things. SITE ANNOUNCEMENT. Two days ago I was given my site. I will be living in a town named Karkaraly. It has 10,000 people and is 3 hours by bus outside the city of
I will be working for the
The mountains aren’t as big as they are here in Esik (maybe 4,000-5,000ft), but from the few pictures I’ve seen, they do look beautiful. And I’ve been told several times “off the record” that Karkaraly is one of the prettier sites in KZ.
The park I’ll be working at has said that they want help in outreach, advertising and brochures, identifying recreational potential, monitoring flora and fauna, volunteerism, ecotourism, and others. So it should be good and I should be able to go in any direction I want, which was one of the things I enjoyed in
Myself and my sitemate (she is teaching English) are the first volunteers ever in this town, much less our orgs, so that should be fun too. I’ve been told that it gets awful cold and gets a lot of snow in Karkaraly, so that is nice. Maybe this year I’ll get my first White Christmas since I was old enough to walk!!
From the little info I have, the town seems nice: “pleasant small town with many single-storey whitewashed cottages with blue window frames.” There is supposedly a nice wooden mosque. Beyond that, I don’t know much of the town itself.
The park is supposed to have some good hiking and many lakes, one of which has a legend. Two lovers eloped and went to the mountains. While the man was out, the father of the girl set the forest on fire to smoke them out. The smoke drove her from her cave, and she ran into a tiger. In order to save herself from the tiger, she dove into what is now called “Devil’s
The park has deer, lynx, wolf, wild boar, fox, the argali (big horn sheep), golden eagles, black storks, saker falcons, and the eagle-owl too.
Anyway, I’m really happy with the assignment and the prospect of working for another park. That is all I know for now. I’m sorry there weren’t any pictures this go around. Next weekend, we are rumored to be going to a Russian rock opera in Almaty, so that should be interesting.
Will write again soon. Sorry this was so long with few pictures. But if you want to see some pictures of Karkaraly, go to this website: http://www.panoramio.com/map/#lt=49.406952&ln=75.397797&z=6&k=0&a=1&tab=1
